I cried myself to sleep last night. Amanda hasn’t left me or anything like that. It’s the 60 hours of work every week. And the 6 hours of graduate studies. And the 2 kids. And my sorely, inadequate excuse of discipleship. After work, I come home and pour all of myself into Caedmon before he hits the sack. Then I usually try to hold and play with Presley for a little while. On top of this, my neglected wife has to put up with a very exhausted and sometimes irritable husband, who doesn’t have anything left to give her but a kiss on the forehead and “a good night.”
That year and a half when it was just me and her went by so quickly. Caedmon was born on our first anniversary, so we really only had 3 months together. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my children. Anyone who sees me spend any time with my children can walk away with full confidence of my assuring love for my children. But I just want a break. A few moments for my wife and I to have some time to ourselves and to thoroughly enjoy each other’s presence. Our anniversary is always a miss, with Caedmon’s birthday. And frankly, we don’t have time.
Then there is my relationship with Christ. He has shown me great things and poured His love over me, drenched me in mercy and grace, and to top it off pursues me as if I were His greatest desire. I give him a few moments here and there, but show Him how much I really care by setting the Bible aside for some mind numbing television or video game.
I go in for an interview on Wednesday. So if you could pray for us, I would greatly appreciate it. If I land this job with United, then I will only have one job with a normal schedule. Not that it is the answer to everything, but could greatly help.
P.S. Honey, when you read this, check your email. There is a card on the way. I love you so much!