I Miss My Wife

I cried myself to sleep last night. Amanda hasn’t left me or anything like that. It’s the 60 hours of work every week. And the 6 hours of graduate studies. And the 2 kids. And my sorely, inadequate excuse of discipleship. After work, I come home and pour all of myself into Caedmon before he hits the sack. Then I usually try to hold and play with Presley for a little while. On top of this, my neglected wife has to put up with a very exhausted and sometimes irritable husband, who doesn’t have anything left to give her but a kiss on the forehead and “a good night.”

That year and a half when it was just me and her went by so quickly. Caedmon was born on our first anniversary, so we really only had 3 months together. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my children. Anyone who sees me spend any time with my children can walk away with full confidence of my assuring love for my children. But I just want a break. A few moments for my wife and I to have some time to ourselves and to thoroughly enjoy each other’s presence. Our anniversary is always a miss, with Caedmon’s birthday. And frankly, we don’t have time.

Then there is my relationship with Christ. He has shown me great things and poured His love over me, drenched me in mercy and grace, and to top it off pursues me as if I were His greatest desire. I give him a few moments here and there, but show Him how much I really care by setting the Bible aside for some mind numbing television or video game.

I go in for an interview on Wednesday. So if you could pray for us, I would greatly appreciate it. If I land this job with United, then I will only have one job with a normal schedule. Not that it is the answer to everything, but could greatly help.

P.S. Honey, when you read this, check your email. There is a card on the way. I love you so much!


6 thoughts on “I Miss My Wife

  1. I can’t say that I completely relate because we don’t have children; however, when Warren and I have felt all the pulls of the world, work, church busyness, etc. and can’t seem to find time for us and/or especially our relationship with God, we have learned that instead of trying to fit both of those things in and balance them that if we will truly focus on making our relationship with Jesus the loving one it needs to be then our relationship falls into place and there’s more time for eachother than we could have ever made on our own.  (I know terribly long runon sentence.  Hope it makes sense!)  Many prayers to you.

  2. Kevin, I DO understand. With only one child, both of us working full-time and Matt finishing his Ph.D., I relate to the other side, where I get a kiss on the forehead and a “good-night.” I have cried myself to sleep too. Thankyou for being so honest. We will definitely be praying about this interview.

  3. I feel you on this one, only I have less excuse to ignore God, who does the same for me, and my friends, even when I am with them.  God help us (and he will, gladly).  I thank God already.

  4. I can completely empathize with you.  Our original plan was that Brad and I would have a date night just the two of us once a month.  That hasn’t happened, but every three months or so we do go out for a night.  Our anniversary is also a problem because it is too close to summer camp so we take an extended weekend earlier in the month, drop Ben off with his grandparents and go off on our own.  We probably get a couple of weekends like that a year, and I highly recommend it.  It is so important to reconnect after all of the time centered on the children.  This may not work for you, but find something that does.  I will definitely be praying for that interview.  A normal schedule always helps.

  5. Kevin, I praise OUR LORD for your honest sharing. Openness to this level of sharing is what has led many families within the church to be crushed and therefore the church to be a hurting body instead of a healing Body.  Praying for you, your family (the most important ministry you have) and your job.
    A question on your book: are you trying too hard to write a book? You may have thought of this; just write stories and connect them later.             om

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