After some good advice from a friend, I felt compelled to re-evaluate my life at the moment. Maybe not knowing what’s next is where I am supposed to be at the moment. I look around and see friends who are younger than me, pastoring churches. Others have missions projects. Still others are moving up the corporate ladder.
Not knowing is probably one of the hardest pills to swallow. God equipped me with the gift of prophecy (not the future-telling-stuff). As far back as I can remember, God’s voice was audible to me. Now it seems muddled by life.
However, last night I felt a whisper of encouragement. Let me preface this with saying that I often sleep in the guest bed at night. Don’t get your worries up. Its not a marital dispute thing. I don’t want to roll over on Presley and neither of them can any sleep with my snoring. So, for the time being, I sleep down stairs.
At any rate, Caedmon came down at 2:30 AM. He had an accident in his bed and needed my help. So I went upstairs and took care of the accident. When I came back down, he was fast asleep in the guest bed. Knowing the rarity of Caedmon snuggle time, I crawled up beside his 5 year old frame, kissed him on the forehead and with my back against the wall, got as comfortable as one can get cramped up on one side.
At 3:00 AM, Amanda woke me up to take Presley. She wasn’t sleeping at all, so I went up stairs and grabbed my baby girl. I thought to myself, “God, Presley is absolutely beautiful. Just like her mom. You did good with this one.” I stared at her 11 month old face, letting the emotions just boil inside. It didn’t matter that it was 3:00 in the morning.
Afterwards, I felt the peace of God simply rush over me. Perhaps, this is my purpose at the moment.