I have come to two polar opposites both of which incorporate the vast expanse of oceans as an expression of either my confusion or complacency in my spiritual walk.
God has always been just in my eyes regardless of what life throws my way. That’s not to say that I always responded with a patient understanding of His purpose in pushing me through those storms. In fact, sometimes the storm feels like an overwhelming torrent, drowning out the sun and any hope of life returning to normal. I believe we call this state of mind, “Worn.” Long days and nights, relentlessly needy children, burdensome budgets, and all the realms of chaos beyond our control.
Several years ago, a blogger friend of mine (Asher) introduced me to a song by Lifehouse entitled Storm. It sums up the feelings of confusion, accompanied by a bewildered trust in God:
There is a polar opposite to feeling overwhelmed: stagnant complacency. It happens in the rut of every day life as well. Those places in my spiritual walk when the assurance of God’s love & forgiveness becomes a “Get out of Jail” card and my priorities fall to the wayside. I no longer pursue Him because I’ve become comfortable … very comfortable with the lack of accountability, the avoidance of discipline, the pursuit of pleasure.
Sometimes a stagnant faith is cured by boarding a boat to the middle of Galilee and stepping out on the water, where feet have no grip, no foundation of which to walk upon and faith is assured to fail. As the cold reality of your comfortableness begins to suffocate you, you look up to see Christ extending His hand and asking why you ever doubted. In those moments, your faith is renewed and you want those moments of terror, faith built on the unseen, those times when you can not see anything but the next step be it water or concrete. I came across WorshipMob doing a cover of Hillsong’s Ocean that puts into words exactly what my heart aches to express in those moments: